THE DANGER OF FREEDOM

By Adam Harbinson

 

On January 3rd this year, Michael Perham, a fourteen year old boy from Potter’s Bar in Hertfordshire, England, arrived in Antigua. He had just sailed single-handedly from Gibraltar, a journey of 3,500 miles that took him six and a half weeks. He now holds the record for the youngest person ever to do that.

He started sailing when he was six - eight years ago; by any standards that’s a fantastic achievement.

But the part of the story that grabbed my attention was that his father shadowed him the whole way, usually he was two miles behind and in constant radio contact. That doesn’t minimise the boy’s feat; he did it himself, but it demonstrates something of his father’s love. Obviously he was concerned about his boy’s safety, but he would not crush his young spirit by controlling him. He was prepared to let go of his son, so he could grow and mature into a free and strong man.

I was once part of an odd little religious group in which there was an obsession with authority. It was all about control, for the leaders claimed to know how to protect their flock from the dangers of freedom. But the Christian life is all about freedom, for while I see nothing in my Bible about domineering authority, I see lots about relationships that are based on love, acceptance, mutual respect, equality, forgiveness, tolerance, mercy and grace. A relationship that is based on control creates a culture of dependency; a breed of half-men. And while the absence of control introduces a degree of danger, it allows the spirit to blossom and it fosters inter-dependence… but I digress.

Or maybe I’m not digressing, for just now there popped into my head the old Jewish proverb; ‘A good parent gives their children roots and wings.’ The child’s roots are the security they derive from being loved, trusted and respected. Their wings are their freedom to fly, knowing there’s a safe haven where they will always be loved and welcome. So I’m not digressing, for when I survey my growing family, this old Jewish proverb is the one thing I would like them to remember if they forget all else I have tried to teach them. That’s how they are to relate to God and his people, including church leaders – perhaps especially church leaders. For it is they who can help most, and hurt most.

But back to Michael Perham. Why was his father following him? Did he want to be first on the scene to criticise and punish him if he were to get it wrong? Would he want to yell, ‘I told you so! Have you any idea how your mother and I have been worried? Why can’t you be like all the other kids? What’s so special about you?’ That’s how the control freak would react, and then he would be sure the boy would never try anything ‘mad’ again. Yes he’d be ‘safe’, but he’d be as good as dead.

I don’t get the impression that Michael’s father had any such thing was on his mind, because he remained a discrete two miles behind – a distance that would take him six or seven minutes to complete. I think he was there to encourage his boy, just far enough away so the lad would get all the credit, but near enough to be there if he was needed.     

Whenever I get scared about the road ahead, nervous that I’ll mess up again, I am always comforted by a Psalm, probably written by king David; ‘I lift up my eyes to the hills – where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth.’

He hasn’t gone away you know.

 

‘I did get quite scared when I found out he had to tie a rope around his waist and dive into the water to fix something, and he said that just after he was talking about sharks. But you can’t expect your kids not to go out. You don’t want them staying at home, fixed to the computer. They need to be out there, fulfilling their ambitions; otherwise life will pass them by. I just wish more kids had the opportunity to do these things.’ – (Michael’s mother).

 

 

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